Minggu, 27 Desember 2009

aWhy always the cse that only when you threaten to leave a place, you begin to feel more at home than ever before? What is it about the action turned to continue to highlight every beautiful thing you will leave behind?

Yes, that's a big secret. I've been thinking a lot about the way home (which caused me to see Sawangan slightly reddish, but that's for another post). It's a secret, because I always leave room to change my mind as new information arrives, and what if I told you all, and then I did not come home? Oh, well.

I can not go, I've got a bunch of workers between countries to conduct the debate, but the idea of returning to his residence on the surface, strong, every time I'm in a period of major transition. I felt like this in Berkeley four years ago, but missed the application deadline SPU by 9 days. I do not want to wait a year to start college, so I decided to go to the Ci Leduk "just for the meantime, then I will go home." One year later, I'm still here.

I think, on some level, I just wanted to be somewhere that when other things in life changes (such as that will probably always continue to do, every few years), I do not think about taking off. I can not promise myself that the house would place it, but I'm getting close to wanting to take the chance that it could (and hey, if it does not, like I was in four-year cycle, so I'm taking suggestions for 2010). I do not want to start again, personally or professionally. And I'm not sorry that I moved here, or that I lived here for boys, or that I was then living here for myself. But I kept trying to get myself to decide to stay, to call home, and my stomach is not completely OK with it (since I hit 30, my stomach is where I feel it when my heart). I was nervous about taking a full-time job. I cancel plans to move that would require me to sign the contract. I am happy here, for now, but when I think about the next few years, I do not know that where I want to be.



I do not know what will happen in six months. But whatever comes, who live or go, a strange thing about all this is that it gives me perspective completely different in both, the source of the main topics of my blog last year. When I had just broken heart, I can not understand when G said that there was nothing wrong, everything is "fine," but that he just could not go. Interestingly, because there is no way I could respond to that. But how I feel now, about Sawangan, to what he feels like. It's great, I'm happy, there are some things that are truly amazing in Depok that I could not elsewhere. Of course, this is far from perfect, but I'm used to the habit. I would even say (who thought this day would never come?) That I love Sawangan. But I can not do. I can not promise to be here in the future. I tried to convince myself to just live and be happy, because it would be much easier than starting again from scratch. And if I feel that, in the stomach / liver, it would be different. But that's just not what I want. This is not personal. It's not even about his own LA; hell, many people will be lucky to live here and call it home. It's just about what that feels like home to me. I can date this city, introduced him to my friends, take my parents to meet those needs, playing house, making life here with it. But when push comes to shove, if Sawangan must know where my heart really, I guess I can not pretend that I do not like always had one foot out the door. 
FaHRy_ZoeL...

Sabtu, 26 Desember 2009


Hidup Haya SekaLi Nikmati HiduP Jalani MimPi........
 M Story In DeseMber Rainz


Long time since we've posted something new - sorry about that, readers! At the time that has passed, has turned TWO Babir, Mamat has turned 27, we know that we're having another BOY, and our big Thanksgiving with the village next door neighbor.

I got some funny pictures from the party Babir so I can post a few days later ....... He was dressed as a baseball player. Neighborhood children all came in costume and we carve pumpkins. They're all really funny (of course) and Josiah both loved. Really sad part about today was that Patrick was sick the night before and had to stay in our bedroom during the day. I really miss him with me to our children celebrate the second year of life - and he was really sad to lose it, too. Thankfully, he recovered quickly and returned to his feet in a few days.

Zoel party was much more exciting. We have some good food, have a great coffee date (thanks to wonderful friends willing to care for), and played Ticket to Ride with your friends and neighbors. Our favorite game was new and you will be asked to play it if you came to within three weeks (when the PW is done with the semester .....).

We have a male friend the other! We are very excited about Babir brother came to join us. Although a small part I hope to make clothes, I am very glad to have in hand all the toys and clothes we can have more "noise with dirt on it". :) Babir like he began to understand the idea - some days better than others - and I was excited to have this little one out. I can not wait to meet him.

Thanksgiving this year we went to the ole 'A-frame for improvised style with our neighboring countries. I had to make my first chicken and I'm pretty happy with it! No one got sick .... as far as I know --- so I would say it worked. The children make pine cone turkeys - I had to try to get a picture too because they are funny.

God has given us many great gifts and we are very blessed to celebrate another year of life for all the boys I --- they are so beautiful.

Jumat, 25 Desember 2009